In my most favorite episode of Bar Rescue ever, I got to enjoy analyzing what seemed on the surface to be an episode about two alpha males in a pissing contest over the name of a bar but was actually about the benefits of knowing what matters to you deep inside your soul. Bill Rodenhiser, the owner of The Chicken Bone in Framingham, Massachusetts, spends several days in a contentious debate with Jon about changing the name of his establishment because Bill doesn’t like to be uncertain about anything or trust anyone, even people who have greater expertise than he does and even when things like his family’s well being are at risk. The episode is so fraught with conflict, Jon later puts it on his top 10 list of angriest moments.

Bill finds himself in a difficult situation. Despite being a successful entrepreneur and businessman, he has suffered a loss of $1.5 million in approximately a year, primarily due to poor decisions that, by his own admission, have “destroyed my life.” He confides in Jon that The Chicken Bone is generating $2 million in annual revenue yet continues to operate at a loss. This financial paradox perplexes Jon, who is determined to uncover the root causes of it and eliminate them. Adding to the situation, Bill is now overextended, working double shifts at his other business to stay solvent. He has lost his house and moved his wife and three small children into a cramped condo 75 miles away from him, making the situation personal and giving Jon something more to fight for than just his reputation.

Jon critiques the bar’s interior, describing it as infantile, and compares it to a daycare center. He offers a piece of advice that seems commonsense but is apparently deeply insightful given the issues highlighted in this and the previous episode: “Family restaurants can work. Family bars cannot.” However, the décor is just one of many problems. Bill’s lack of knowledge about the bar industry is a significant issue. His distrust towards his staff is evident, even towards his manager who boasts 25 years of experience and is well-regarded by his staff and, surprisingly, also by Jon. The operational mismanagement extends to the walk-in cooler, overflowing with raw chicken wings. The bartenders are unique in their practice, using a 2.5-ounce pour as the standard for liquor in drinks, an anomaly so unique that they may be the only ones in the country doing it. It’s clear that managing costs is not a priority at The Chicken Bone. In business terms, Bill lacks any leverage to win his argument with Jon over the bar’s name, despite his persistent efforts.

When I was in college I took a course in conflict management. Had this episode of Bar Rescue been available to me, I would have loved analyzing it for my final paper. Not only are the arguments continuous and lengthy, but they are also hilariously realistic. In an argument about shutting down the kitchen, Jon screams at Bill, “How about looking at me and saying, ‘Jon, I’m glad you had the balls to do what is right because I certainly didn’t. I would have opened up this place tonight and gotten people sick.’”

At the macro level it’s impossible for Bill to win in this situation because Jon possesses all the power and resources. Bill needs assistance, and Jon possesses the expertise, the financial backing, and the host of non-monetary resources to provide it. Bill is at a complete disadvantage because, given the current state of affairs, he is unable to sustain the bar’s operation in its existing form let alone recover financially and get back to a semblance of his former standard of living, all of which Jon knows is more valuable to Bill than The Chicken Bone’s name. The only way Bill could possibly win in this situation is if he could infiltrate Jon’s emotional world and tap into his deep river of compassion in hopes of receiving a bucketful of mercy. But, unfortunately, Bill is used to being the alpha male so that strategy is likely not in his universe let alone his toolbox. Too bad, because I would have loved to see Bill try this approach only to hear Jon berate him for literally being pathetic.

It’s not all alpha male behavior, though. Later, both Bill and Jon reveal their surprisingly vulnerable sides when Bill apologizes to Jon for lashing out at him with misplaced anger. Bill’s apology reflects a sincere acknowledgment of his earlier misjudgments and emotions and is delivered with integrity befitting a truly honorable man. Jon, completely unfazed by all the prior emotional drama, says, “Not only do I accept your apology, I welcome it,” and wholeheartedly offers Bill his hand and his help. It’s little moments like this during every show that convince me Jon’s river of compassion is deep, and the path from it to others is well worn.

The warm connection between Jon and Bill doesn’t last long before they lock horns again about the name of the bar. Bill deserves some kudos for trying to change Jon’s unchangeable mind, though, because he surely knew Jon’s commitment to his position since their first meeting when Jon forced Bill to take down The Chicken Bone sign while announcing, “I can be one aggressive asshole when I want to be.” Jon obviously knows himself well, and only seven episodes into the show’s first season we can see that his integrity and his brilliance are impeccable.

Bill uses every tactic he knows to convince Jon to keep The Chicken Bone name. Jon holds firm, telling Bill, “I won’t put my name on The Chicken Bone. It’s a reputation that’s going to cause you and me to fail.” This is Jon’s bottom line and he never sells himself out, so he provides a master class in negotiation instead. He uses his bottom line to offer Bill a third option where they both get what they want: Bill keeps the name of his establishment as The Chicken Bone and has received whatever help he’s gotten so far to improve its chances of success, and Jon and his crew leave, preventing Jon from putting his name on an establishment called The Chicken Bone while also having provided some much needed assistance to improve its chances of success.

Bill, of course, has no option but to acquiesce to Jon because he knows he’s bleeding out financially, the economic health of his family is at risk, and Jon has the power to fix it. Once Bill admits to himself that his family and his finances are more important than the name of his bar or winning this argument, he concedes to the name change, and Jon is alight with purpose again. He pats Bill on his hand when he shakes it and nonverbally tells him he won’t regret it. Then the two of them head off to the Samuel Adams brewery on a boy’s trip to learn more about beer, hook Bill up with an entrepreneurial support program, generally calm Bill’s worrisome heart, and try to make friends.

With the name change finally put to rest, Jon embraces the live music element of Bill’s bar and renames it The Bone. The launch is highly successful. Everyone is trained and effective, customers are happy, and the new name is a hit. Still, plaguing the back of my mind is Bill’s inability to fully trust his manager, Jeff. When talking to the camera about it, he says “we’ll see.”  Bill’s comment seems trivial, but I think it’s momentous. I firmly believe Bill cannot maintain the openness to other’s ideas he has “tried” to have during this rescue. No matter how hard the production team worked to make it look like Bill changed, no matter how much enthusiasm Jon could muster toward the bar’s success, and no matter how much money The Bone was making at its six-week follow up, I’m with Yoda in saying, “Do or do not. There is no try.” I’m putting my bet on Bill’s need to win an argument—The Chicken Bone will rise like a phoenix. When it does, Bill will win the argument over the name of the bar, Jon will win the one over whether or not it will make Bill fail, and, sadly, the losers in every case and sense of the word will be Bill’s family.

I invite you to consider and share your answers in the Comments: What do you think about my prediction for The Chicken Bone? Will it be resurrected? Why or why not?